What else can go wrong? seriously...
I feel so hopelessly helpless
I don't want to be weak and I'm trying so hard not to break down but it's hard
just so hard...
I don't want to complain about everything but I think I did well in front of my mom for not letting any tears fall down on my face
but I wanted to cry in my mom's arms and hug her and just let go of everything and sleep
on the way back home, on the bus that I took, there was this one little girl crying so loud ...I wanted to cry out like that but instead I just quietly poured out my tears in the dark
on the train, there was this lady who told almost everything about her life to her friend beside her in public I don't think I've ever been like that but I wish I could... it's like letting everyting out without caring what other people will think of you or how they will judge you
so CHOKED UP and I don't know who to talk to and even when I want to talk to somebody, I don't know where to start
why do I get bullied all the time?
why bad luck likes to stick with me?
REALLY...even if those take place only one at a time, it'd be much better but I can't choose my fate, can I?
at least, I can write this all out here and feel a bit better after (I hope)
feel like taking all anti-depressant at once and be done with it
but I can't be like that...I have to survive to make my parents proud and happy and have to look after them so that they live happily and healthily
I really wish there were somebody beside me cheering me up though somebody who can understtand me of course but it's like a miracle ; might happen but probably never :)
